I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
