you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
