I accidentally had phone sex last night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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