i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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