It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize