I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
