I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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