why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
