pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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