The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
