I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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