What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
