Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
