i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
True strength comes from lack of pants
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
