ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
