bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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