my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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