The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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