my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
