Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
