Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
