He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
