Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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