Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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