fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
