I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
