Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
