Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
