Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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