This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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