She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize