they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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