you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
