is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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