She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize