There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
