R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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