before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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