he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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