I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I will pee on everything he values.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
