The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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