Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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