Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dicks are not precious.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
