I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize