can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
