someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize