I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
