Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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