Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
