I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
