i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
