Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
