my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
