I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
