For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
