Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
