a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
