I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
