guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
