ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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